My Conversation With Jaysus...

I didn't mean to single anyone out, or bitch that no one was writing. Well I guess I did, but I didn't mean to slag on my readers... They are most important to me...

I wrote a little response, but the gist is that I was just in a bad mood... I had a terrible subway ride, and I let it get me down.

But the underlying truth is that so many times in my life I have been a part of something so small and so hidden (not being elitist, hope you understand, just when I grew up) and ive watched so many people talk it up and then not do anything about it...ive watched so many people fall off, and never look back.

It was like that for skateboarding. I started in 89, when skating was at an all-time low, and I skated with my small crew, and we would go to different towns, and meet other small crews... We got dissed in high school for wearing skate clothes.... We read thrasher.... We listened to punk. We loved every minute of it.

It was near incredible when skateboarding started blowing up. Same with hardcore and punk, shit just started blowing up!

Of course with any explosions comes the detritus. And that comes in the form of hangers on, poseurs, kids with less heart. Dilution of the key ideas that started any scene and made it see so vital to the few that were involved. But with it comes new blood, fresh love, wider recognition. Things that help the scene out of its little hiding place and into the greater consciousness.

I guess it all comes down to cycles... There are cycles of birth and rebirth in everything we do, voluntary or involuntary, and with breath of new life in any scene, comes its inevitable collapse.

The best thing about those smaller, more hidden from view times, is that the small group of people involved all have tons of heart and are in it for the pure reasons... The show I went to last night... Every single person was into it fully. The bands shredded for 20 people. And that's heart, and that's what matters. That's what's rare in this world.

But it doesn't stop me from feeling isolated, like I have felt so many times.. It doesn't stop me from wishing there were more people to share it with... And, inevitably, there will be. It will hit an upswing, like it has before, and it will be exciting, watching it rise from the ashes, and eventually it will become overloaded and diluted. People will drop off, and the few with true heart will remain.

That's the struggle of sticking to your guns. Experiencing that cycle from start to finish, or middle to finish to start again, wherever you got on, you'll be sure to hit all the stops if you stay on.

But man, what matters is what you see when youre there. And at that show, I saw two extremely passionate hardworking bands, who do this for love. And with Zen, I see a number of people who are psyched to have this forum to discuss and share, not only music, but the excitement of having been a part of something at some point, the excitement of hearing an awesome riff, or an awesome lyric. This is what matters most, and this is why Zen will never die...

In 30 years, expect posts from the beach, In between surfing sessions. Beard core will have new meaning, and Zen will still be Zen. That's why I named it that...