Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My Conversation With Jaysus...

I didn't mean to single anyone out, or bitch that no one was writing. Well I guess I did, but I didn't mean to slag on my readers... They are most important to me...

I wrote a little response, but the gist is that I was just in a bad mood... I had a terrible subway ride, and I let it get me down.

But the underlying truth is that so many times in my life I have been a part of something so small and so hidden (not being elitist, hope you understand, just when I grew up) and ive watched so many people talk it up and then not do anything about it...ive watched so many people fall off, and never look back.

It was like that for skateboarding. I started in 89, when skating was at an all-time low, and I skated with my small crew, and we would go to different towns, and meet other small crews... We got dissed in high school for wearing skate clothes.... We read thrasher.... We listened to punk. We loved every minute of it.

It was near incredible when skateboarding started blowing up. Same with hardcore and punk, shit just started blowing up!

Of course with any explosions comes the detritus. And that comes in the form of hangers on, poseurs, kids with less heart. Dilution of the key ideas that started any scene and made it see so vital to the few that were involved. But with it comes new blood, fresh love, wider recognition. Things that help the scene out of its little hiding place and into the greater consciousness.

I guess it all comes down to cycles... There are cycles of birth and rebirth in everything we do, voluntary or involuntary, and with breath of new life in any scene, comes its inevitable collapse.

The best thing about those smaller, more hidden from view times, is that the small group of people involved all have tons of heart and are in it for the pure reasons... The show I went to last night... Every single person was into it fully. The bands shredded for 20 people. And that's heart, and that's what matters. That's what's rare in this world.

But it doesn't stop me from feeling isolated, like I have felt so many times.. It doesn't stop me from wishing there were more people to share it with... And, inevitably, there will be. It will hit an upswing, like it has before, and it will be exciting, watching it rise from the ashes, and eventually it will become overloaded and diluted. People will drop off, and the few with true heart will remain.

That's the struggle of sticking to your guns. Experiencing that cycle from start to finish, or middle to finish to start again, wherever you got on, you'll be sure to hit all the stops if you stay on.

But man, what matters is what you see when youre there. And at that show, I saw two extremely passionate hardworking bands, who do this for love. And with Zen, I see a number of people who are psyched to have this forum to discuss and share, not only music, but the excitement of having been a part of something at some point, the excitement of hearing an awesome riff, or an awesome lyric. This is what matters most, and this is why Zen will never die...

In 30 years, expect posts from the beach, In between surfing sessions. Beard core will have new meaning, and Zen will still be Zen. That's why I named it that...

31 Comments:

Blogger papstar said...

hey mang....everyone feels that way at some time or another. It seems I'm happy when I'm a part of something small. I can never understand why more people don't get as excited over music and art as much as me. Then, when the bands or whatever start getting popular...I actually kinda get pissed and wish for the old days when the community was smaller. So, I just can't make up my mind. I've learned a long time ago that I'm wierd...and most people don't get as pumped up over music as me. That's why this page is so fucking great.....I've met more people with similar tastes on here in the last 3 months than I met throughout my whole life going to shows.

I wish people appreciated this site a lot more...I know I would be lost if it was gone. I look forward to hearing about the shows you go to and the records you buy. I have to live vicariously through you because of the wife and 3 kids at home. So you have to go to shows for me and tell me all about them.
sorry to ramble. hope today is better for you.

12:31 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

feeling better paps, and i share your sentiments...

the good has far outweighed the bad... it is priceless to me that we all share that same excitement and geekiness...

completely priceless...


and i got some more good pics comin up tonite... with an actual post too...

cheers!

12:41 PM  
Blogger Walt said...

nudes? Dude just keep it up. Did you take any video this time? Does it suck as bad as the Brainworms one? That video was so DIY.

12:44 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

no, the video is way better this time...

i could post some nudes, but that might officially kill Zen for good... lol!

12:46 PM  
Blogger Destroyer said...

Hey... I can relate to that. I've been living in Los Angeles for 15 years. I grew up in Brazil and started listening to Brazilian punk back in the eighties. Watching american skateboard videos I was introduced to american hardcore/punk. Black Flag, Minutemen, Descendents, fIREHOSE, Sonic Youth, etc... Moving to the U.S. and watching those bands live was a dream for me, but than I realized that so many bands play for very small crowds. I don't know how things are in Chicago or New York, but I have seen bands like Karate, KARP, Medications, Bluetip, Kerosene 454, Burning Airlines, At The Drive In (when they were really good, just before In Casino Out) perform to a handful of people, giving their blood and people just stare at them, no one dances, people are like robots in this town, or maybe they think they are too cool to show any body movement to follow a rhythim. All this music means a lot to me and I do wish more people would appreciate it.
So, I don't know where I am going with this, but I think
it comes down to do what you love and fuck the rest.
If you like blogging, that's great. I've been visiting your blog for awhile, and although I don't like most of the "emo" stuff (I hate labeling), I still find something here every once in a while. And above all, you guys have a lot of enthusiasm.
I am 33 (probably the oldest one here), work full-time and sometimes don't have time to type all that's in my head (usually curse-words) and I hate typing.

Whatever you do Blend, don't jump... Life is too precious! if you jump, choose water...

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Walt said...

It has been voted that this blog needs 100% more beards.

2:01 PM  
Blogger David said...

I have cmae to this blog quite a lot now and never really posted anything....but that post made me realise I should probably be abit more active in helping this place out since it has got me into so much music. For that I thank you and I would just like to say that Zen is Thee Greatest Blog ever =]

2:30 PM  
Blogger maize said...

ZZ TOP mega post!!!

2:33 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

awesome.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Hi it's me again!

Blend,I know exactly how you feel,I've been there before with skateboarding and all the hype that 's just killed it (at least in my town.)The same goes for hardcore.As soon as the hype comes in...the spirit is gone and there is nothing left but the pose.There's so many kids there that are just interested in wearing skateshoes rather that actually skateboarding...it's depressing. But they're not to blame...they're just fashion victims. As Orchid said:"Hardcore gets boring when the "kids" stop being interested in ideas and music and start getting interested in merch"
And to papstar,me too I'm happy of being part of something small,not that I'm elistist or something but every time a band that I used to love gets popular I become less interested in it.It's as if our "intimacy",our privileged relationship, had been exposed to the mass. I feel betrayed. I guess I would feel the same about this blog.However that doesn't mean that I wish this blog were unread.The purpose is to share and make discover to people some good music (and thank you all for that)but I don't want this blog to be catch by the hype.The community here is so great.
Ok I realise that I have been a bit off topic sorry for that and
for my english,it's not my native language but I had to express myself no matter how dumd I may have sound.

Keep up,soon I'll post some french screamo from my town!

3:01 PM  
Blogger Paint Your Lips said...

I love reading your blog, listening to the music you recommend. Just generally the feel of this place. There's something about it, let's call it ... Heart.

Don't every stop. I might not post a lot here, but i'm def. around and hanging on your every word.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

I think most people are used to strictly talking about the music and even then, only if they have something fresh to add. I've had trouble keeping up with posts where the music is newer to me, and by the time i've got an opinion the post is not so fresh. I like that you're interested in the sense of community that comes off your blog. A way to bring out the discourse would be to make separate postings about one thing or another or put a link for others to talk to you about completely new topics/bands etc... for example i've wanted to ask you whether you've heard certain bands but I only see the opportunity when you post something similar...

As far as feeling that the community is small, well I think your comment about the detritus/poseurs etc fits... If you're precious about something and feel that it needs to be shared, then obviously it's not huge and overdone, and it will not have a huge community to keep everyone buoyed at all times...

i'm glad you plan to keep things going over time. i've got five years on destroyer and i love the internet for being ever around to keep my old tastes celebrated/reinforced and my new ones ever reinvented....

that said, Craw's site is down. Will it be up to zen and the art of face punching to keep it alive?

3:23 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

That said...thoughts on Cream Abdul Babar? I love their straightforward assault on pop/rock rhythms with a million guitars, trombone, keyboards, and a screaming guy. I was able to find some of their stuff through a link from blend's site (maybe once or twice removed) as well as their own site and it's love. no math, no delicacy, just hooky bombast. what doth the community think? in the meantime I'm gonna go check out the plan and blake and try to keep up with everyone...

3:31 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

terry. i am sos orry i have never gotten back to you...

i am not so good at keeping up with things myself sometimes... know that it is not due to anything but the busyness of life...

i think it would be great to have a forum attatched to this website... someolace more open...

i am considering it... i have some plans , i just need to find a person who knows how to do it....

3:45 PM  
Blogger Slim said...

Hey as I said french screamo from my city (Strasbourg)

Le temps des mobylettes "demo":

http://www.mediafire.com/?fxruv9m1sct

Classic french skramz (with a bit of "emo violence" in it)
Pretty crazy live!
tell what you think about it!

4:07 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Dear Tim,
<3
<3
<3

Love,
Me

4:27 PM  
Blogger Rorschach said...

Hey Tim,

You make my taint wet and my eyes too.

Sincerly,
Alex

P.S. - If CUTC/TTM are as a good as you say they are I'm probably going to die tomorrow night from an extreme cause of exhaustion due to ejaculation.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Paint Your Lips said...

Man, I really love Cease Upon the Capitol. Hope they do a Euro tour.

5:16 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

"you make my taint wet"

im disgusted but i can die peacefully now.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

Blend,
No problem, hope you're liking some of that music I sent (i know it's a little bit different from the site's typical, and is perhaps dated indieband sounding...)

I don't think you have to do anything special with the site to introduce new things, you still drive this affair, maybe just on occasion put up a posting for something topical (like the "hey y'all, what do you recommend..." or whatever for all us friends to latch onto and wax on about.

Also, I think most people find the bits about yourself, what you do, where you live, your show reviews, and your thoughts/emotions on whatever you're thinking interesting as well. For example, when you were posting about doing lots of cycling around, I was tempted to ask about that, as I'm a biking freak, and have found a few blogs where people like to talk bikes and music....

6:17 PM  
Blogger Bryan said...

Dont worry be happy man.

Ok no cliches, this blog has probably united more people in the hardcore community than any show could...I mean really, the emo/hardcore scene of the nineties was way more "clicky" than people lead on. All that aside, thanks for wasting So much of my time...I love ZEN!!

7:05 PM  
Anonymous bostock said...

Just tried to post a comment, but it disappeared. In a nutshell, this blog is great and has re-acquainted me with so much great music from my younger days and also introduced me to some awesome new bands. So thanks!

Any So. Cal residents going to see Graf Orlock, Comradre and Trainwreck at Chain Reaction on Sat.?

8:43 PM  
Blogger Walt said...

Ohhh another thing was recently voted upon your blog needs 100% more plugs to mine.

10:02 PM  
Blogger deaddreamnation said...

shit i know i am new to all of you guys and there a million things i could say that could go either way in this conversation...but i applaud you for what you do and it is amazing that is being done by anyone really...it takes balls, heart, and time. i honestly have read this blog more than any blog ever. there aren't posts for days, but i read all responses and am stoked. i have some kindred link...i feel like i see you dudes at shows and maybe a few of you i did in atlanta... i know this is cheesy but there is a love here that can't be expressed besides what has already been said. music nerds...comic nerds, art nerds, or whatever...we are drawn here to take part.... the music i have already shared or found(not necessarily with you all) and the music you have turned me onto means the world to me....i pretty much had given up hope that there wasn't any good shit left.... and i want to share too... but i also am a big pussy...tell me how to jump in without threatening anyone or their rights and i will ride right next to you...i have been playing music in punk/whatever bands for years and personally if i found out that my shit was being shared and people were pumped i would die. that kind of is the point of whatever underground we have left...it has always been word of mouth and networking...money is awesome but from my experience i would rather you like my music and art than make a buck...yes i want to live by being a musician or artist...but i also am a realistic person....shit i am sorry this is so long...i am drunk and i don't want ANYONE to give up. some of the best shows we ever played were to 15 people in a skatepark in greenville, nc. maybe a warehouse in myrtle beach. could be to 1 person in allentown... maybe our practice space... i feel you though... i feel like i am getting too old but i just can't give up yet...there is always some glimmer of hope that someone right next you will be sharing that amazing feeling you are....anyone going to the the fest in gainesville? if so ya wanna meet up or what?

i apologize again for the rambling and rampant mispellings. we are all out here...

10:59 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

dudes. you have all made my week.

if subconciously what i wanted was to dredge up the people that may remain silent, then you have answered my wishes tenfold.

if subconciously i wanted to hear that people like what i do hear then you have far surpassed any ideal i could ever have set forth.

i think youve all said similar things in some respect, and that is the love, and hear that embodies this style of music, whether it just be the 20 or 30 of us here or 100's more...

im with you guys. til the bleeding fucking end.

12:01 AM  
Blogger papstar said...

deaddreamnation and anyone else...

If you have music you want to share...by all means do so. I know it seems that we all only listen to one type of music, but that is very far from true. I don't speak for everyone, but I know for sure that some of us like many different genres. I really can't say that there is one type of music I don't like, save for country. maybe. I get caught up in all the emo/hardcore on this site and that is all that seems to be posted. But take a stroll through zen's archives and you will see stoner, doom , indie, pop and much more. I am open to anything you have to share. Thats the point of all this, and I believe that is the reason Blend invited some of us to post. Diversity. So, I am going to start upping some variety in the future. If noone likes it, I don't really mind. so, to make a short comment much much longer, please go ahead and up whatever you want to share...I'm definitely interested. And thanks to everyone for all the comments, I know blend has already shown appreciation, but I just wanted to concur. It's always nice to know that people are out there and our posts are being appreciated.

Wow, I feel like I'm in Oprah's book club. Thats enough talk about feelings...stay tuned for some music!

1:22 AM  
Blogger blend77 said...

paps got my back.

and seriously, on the genre thing, i am living the nostalgia right now... i love instrumental post-rock, indie rock, dischord, folk, psych, doom, death metal, jazz and classic rock as much as i like hardcore.

my favorite bands are fugazi and built to spill, followed closely by broken social scene and six organs of admittance...

i have plans to blow this mother out with some other stuff... so feel free to post things in comments... stick around and contribute long enough, and we'll see if youre interested in joining up...

back to you, Oprah.

2:02 AM  
Blogger David said...

I didnt know where to post submissions but I thought here would be the best place. Not sure if anyone on here will know of this band named "Gallows". Their a hardcore punk band in the same vein as Black Flag but their from Britain. Here's their debut =]:"Orchestra Of Wolves" - http://www.mediafire.com/?ameus353tv2

9:32 AM  
Blogger maize said...

good HC band , david. theres nothing black flag about them though.

check em out homies.

3:18 PM  
Blogger David said...

lol fair enough =] always thought I could hear abit of Black Flag in them ( especially since they covered one of their songs XD) but I guess your right

3:47 PM  
Blogger blend77 said...

thanks david!

4:08 PM  

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